My confirmation day.......

For my musing this week, I thought I'd share with you the article I wrote for the parish magazine.

Confirmation at St Augustines Limbury 19th June 2013

On the 19th June at St Augustine's church Limbury, I was confirmed along with Sinead, Steven and Carolyn. My thanks to Janet and St Augustines for a beautiful service.

The service was a celebration with family and friends. One I will always remember. My son Edward fell asleep during Bishop Alan's sermon, and I could hear him snore a few times during the prayers.

As I watched Sinhead and then Carolyn receive their confirmation from Bishop Alan, I knew the moment I had been attending classes for, and dreaded had finally arrived. Gena announced my name to the Bishop. I wobbled slightly in front of him on my ridiculous (but as I thought smart, yet low kitten heels) and knelt down, fully expecting a shaft of pain, or maybe a loud crack. Ok it wasn't a gracious kneel down. My knees impacted with the cushion, but no pain (I have a dodgy right knee!) However, as I felt intense heat flaming my face, I closed my eyes, and clasped my hands together. Praying for composure and trying to focus on the solemnity of what was about to happen. Willing myself not to wince with embarrassment, I felt the Bishop's hand on my hair, a firm yet somehow reassuring touch. His prayer soothed the butterflies somersaulting around in my stomach. Then it was over. I had received my confirmation and now I had to get up (somehow), and for some reason...all I can remember is wobbling on my heels and performing some kind of curtsey, then I remembered to bow my head. It was only when I felt a hand clasp into mine, I looked into Gena's smile and let out a quietish sound of relief. How I got up from the kneeling position without help, I do not know.

No this isn't an episode of Miranda. This is how I remember my confirmation. The climax of a journey I have made with very patient teachers in Lesley and Gena. I asked questions, was taught how to pray. I've even learnt how to listen, but that lesson is still ongoing. I found the course informative, and I've discovered things about me, some good, some not so good. The main thing I learnt was that God loves me no matter how many fluff ups I make. During the Ash Wednesday service Liz read out a version of Footprints, with this passage that brought me to tears, this passage has stayed in my mind since.

"But this is my question. Lord.. Was there a regression or something? The footprints went back to two, and this time it was worse than the first."

The Lord smiles, then laughs. "You didn't know?"

He says. "That was when we danced."

I seem to have been dancing with the Lord a lot over the past few years. He's been a remarkably patient partner.

After he had performed our confirmations, Bishop Alan asked us to turn and face the congregation. There we stood, four individuals, yet united in our beliefs.

During his sermon Bishop Alan had spoken of home, using extracts from The Wind in The Willows and even more surprising Love Actually. I saw in the pews standing and clapping, my husband, my children (bar the one that was still asleep under the pew), my family and friends.....No. No longer friends. Family.

The saying 'Home is where the heart is' has been for me, particularly perfect. For the simple reason. Christ lives in my heart, therefore I am always home.

I am proud to be a member of the church of England.